Finding God's Grace In Your Darkest Moments

Have you ever thought about where you have been and how God has preserved your life and kept you? In today's blog, I want you to journey with me as I reflect on where I have been and how God's hand has been the one guiding force that has protected me, that has kept me. Even the wrong choices that I made, reminds me that it has been God's grace and His love for me that has preserved and kept my life.

This morning, as I was reading this book written by Gigi Renfro. It's OKAY To CRY, it reminded me of where I have been, the mistakes I made, the relationships that I got into, the things I did that were not right.

But sometimes I wonder, girl, what were you thinking of? How could you have gotten yourself into these situations that you found yourself in? And, really, why are you still alive today? And can I tell you, that's only because of God. He wasn't the one who caused the mistakes I made; I have to take personal responsibility. In hindsight, all I can see is that along my journey, God has been there, and He has preserved me.

When I should have lost my mind, he kept me sane. He kept me sane. It could have been no one else, absolutely no one else, but Him.

So the question I want to ask you today is, "Have you ever stopped and reflected on your past, where you have been, what happened to you, the things that you did, the decisions and the choices that you made? And you know, without a shadow of a doubt, it was the divine hand of God that kept you. Have you ever stopped to reflect on that? Because, honestly, sometimes we need to be reminded. We need to be reminded that where we are now, we didn't get there by ourselves. God's hand has been the driving force that guided us.

So, though we made decisions that were not the right things, you know my scripture verse Romans 8: 28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose". Of course, when I was walking in sin, this was not something that I was thinking of. I couldn't see that it would not have applied to me. But as I came to know the Lord as Christ, I know that that word became applicable to me then.

In looking back on where I have been, the places that I have been, the mistakes that I have made, finding myself in situations where I shouldn't have been, I know that was it the hand of Almighty God, that preserved me to be able to live, to tell my story about his goodness and his grace and his hands over my life.

As I thought about how the Lord says "Use your voice, tell your story, about where you have been and where God has always been, I remember as a teenager, making these wrong choices, being in these sexual relationships that I had no place being in. I didn't know my worth or value. I didn't know what it was like to be truly loved by a dad, I allowed every little thought, every little mention of love to find myself in the arms of someone that I shouldn't have found myself in. Oh my word, oh my word.

But later on, as I've learned that God loves me and loves me unconditionally. It would take years for me to truly understand what it means to be loved by Almighty God, and only that knowledge could have helped formed the decisions that I made earlier.

But in those days I didn't know, I didn't understand. I got my heart broken so many times, but here's what I've learned: when we don't value ourselves, no one else will. Because they see this lack in our actions, in the things that we say, and in how we treat our selves.

Why am I sharing that with you today? It's to remind you to pause and to reflect, especially as a woman of faith. You may be looking back and, like me, you may be saying to yourself how could I have done all these things? But I want to encourage you today, that God has a plan, a greater plan for your story that someone else needs to hear about.

Where you have been and what God has done, how he preserved you, how he kept you, even when you didn't see him, he walked alongside us. He was not happy with the decisions that we made, but his love for us didn't cause Him to abandon us. He didn't leave us all by ourselves.

Our sin separated Him from us, but he did not stop loving us. It would take me a while to truly understand that, because the shame and disgust that I had for my self coupled with the enemy telling me that I had no value. You know all the negatives that the enemy will come and whisper to us. We take those lies and make them our own and we believe what he says about us. When the word of God is contrary to what the enemy says, He says that He loves us with an everlasting love and nothing can separate us from that love Nothing, nothing.

So where you have been, where we have been, it was messy, but God will turn it into a message, only if we allow him, and give him those parts and those places, because he wants to heal them. He wants to restore us, He wants to show us that, yes, you're not your mistake, I love you and I have a good plan for you.

As I read, that book, I felt the love of God in my heart, and it reminded me that I had been there as well, and it was God's love that saved me, that redeemed me. It was God's love that has transformed my very life. I remember being in an adulterous relationship as a teenager, because I wanted love, I wanted to be loved. And, in hindsight, who could I have been there when I didn't even know myself, much more to be involved in a sexual relationship with someone who was married. For years that shame and that disgust and that thing was so heavy on me and it had to take God to really cause me to see that he has forgiven me and tell me I had to forgive myself.

It would take decades later, but my God allowed healing to take place within that family and for me to say to them, "I'm sorry to have been inside of this", it was only God who orchestrated that. But even when that took place, I still could not forgive myself. But years later, God says I forgive you, so you can forgive yourself.

I don't know where you have been, and I don't know what challenges you had, or what mistakes you made. But can I tell you, forgive yourself, forgive yourself. Once you ask the Lord to forgive you, he forgives you the minute you ask. Now I'm telling you to forgive yourself because I know that the enemy likes to remind us of our past, the things we've done, the places that we've been, but we're not our past.

God will use it as stepping stones to get us to a place that He has called us to be, to be a witness to someone else who has been or is in that place, to say I was there. This is what God has done for me and He will do it for you, if you let Him. It's amazing what God can do in our lives and what God will do in our lives if we only allow Him to do it,

If we allow him to heal the broken places in our lives, if we're open and honest with him. He will transform us. Can I tell you something? our stories matter. There's a message of hope, redemption, and restoration, and we have to be willing to share this grace of God with others who need to hear and be encouraged.

I'm in a reflective and contemplative mood today, because I'm reminded so much of the love that God has for every single one of us. As we give him our everything, as we tell him about the things that are hurting us, where you are now in your journey, the disappointment and the discouragement you may be feeling, or the anxious thoughts taking root in your mind, or we may not be sure about what's coming next, and are worried. Give it to God and allow him to release His peace upon you. Allow him to remind you that He will perfect everything that concerns you, that He will walk beside you every step of the way, and He will sing over you with songs of deliverance. He's not done with you yet. He's not done with me yet. He's not done with us yet.

There is more to our story that is still being written. Allow God to have first place in your life and allow him to show you how much you are loved by him and how much your past is a stepping stone to what He has for you. He's going to use those broken pieces and he's going to put them back together again, and he's going to show you that there's beauty in your ashes, and someone else's life will be transformed because you were obedient to share our story, and to do what he has called you to do.

I want to remind you of the love God has for you and that your past does not determine who you are, but you'll use your past to affect change for your future. You can't do it by yourself. Allow God to help you do that. He knows the end from the beginning, He knows where you are right now and He wants you to be reminded that he loves you with an everlasting love.

So, father, I thank you for my friends today. I pray that you will bless them abundantly, God. I pray that you'll remind them how much you love them, Almighty God, and that their past will not separate you from them. Father, in the name of Jesus, as they surrender and yield their lives over to you, may you have your way. May you bring healing and restoration. May you bring redemption, and may you remind them, Almighty God, that you are their God. You are their Father and you have them in the palms of your hands. Excerpt from my podcast, you can listen below.